December & how to end the year that changed it all

It’s 29th of December and I feel even more lost than when the year started. “How is that possible?” you may wonder. Well, this year completely sucked.

As many others during the pandemic, I started the year with a broken relationship that ended with the first drops of snow. Heartbroken and in lockdown, I didn’t think the year could get worse than that. Of course, I was wrong.

Dear March started with me turning 29 and ended with the news that my dad had cancer and he wasn’t going to make it longer than a couple of months. All in a sudden I was packing, booking flights, arranging PCRs and travelling home.

A few blurry months later I was back in London, confused, but determined to get my life back together. Back at work, back at the game of tinder and dating apps, trying to convince myself that I was ready to keep my life moving again — if I had to put a title to the last months of my life, this would be: “I faked it, but I haven’t made it”.

It’s the end of December now and I’m not sure how to tackle the beginning of the new year. What to expect from 2022? It would be naive to state that it’s going to be my year, and I’m too scared to affirm that it can’t be worse than 2021. But if I could wish for something it would be to keep the good health of the ones I love, to find a balance between my heart and my head and to get the motivation to be better for and to myself.

Hopefully, I’ll find myself in the way.

Cheers to a decent 2022!

Maria